Inspired Karma

 

I had the pleasure of enjoying a picnic with my BF, beren_80,  yesterday at the terrace. It was a gorgeous day and we had a spread that included everything from roasted red pepper hummus to warm apple cider. It was truly a blissful event.

At one point, I paused, leaned back against the back of the bench we were on and looked around. Lake Mendota was sparkling and dotted with sailboats moored along the shore. The chairs scattered along the terrace were fairly well-used and it seemed a busy day, by and large.

Then I noticed a good deal of commotion in the bushes nearby. After watching for a moment, I turned to beren_80 and commmented. "Those squirrels are having sex, aren't they?" He smiled. "Yes, yes they are." Apparently, I'd noticed the little furry "wrestlers" late in the game. I was told later that they'd settled into shaking the bushes around our picnic spot within about 5 minutes of our arrival.

Now, I don't know if you've ever seen a couple squirrels go at it, but I found it incredibly cute. I've been told this isn't quite a perfect description, but it is my impression, nonetheless. These energetic little lovers were rolling in the dirt, skittering up the bushes, chasing one another up and down trees while tapping each other with their fluffy tails and generally making sex look adorable. I can't say it inspired me to passion, but it certainly left me with a certain ... Awwwwwww!

Let Me Not Say “I Love You”

Let me not say I love you,
Although you know that it is true.
That phrase has been so much abused,
Misunderstood and over-used.

Let me say rather "I think you,
Breathe you, taste you, feel you, dream you,"
That you help make each day complete,
And life has never been so sweet.
 
I wrote that almost 10 years ago. I am one of those people that is careful about what I say. While I do say "I love you" ... I don't say it often. And it's not because I don't feel it. In fact, I love deeply, intensely and with a great deal of awareness of it and the person who has earned it. However, in a world where the term is tossed around with great abandon, I reserve it for those moments when it's bubbling up inside me ... in those moments when life has never been so sweet.

Love.  In so many ways, it moves the world and certainly individuals. And yet, how often do any of us try to define it? Many would argue you can't define it and that's what makes it wonderful. I'd argue that it is in defining it that its true intensity and importance really comes to light. So, in that spirit, I'm sharing some of my thoughts on love. And while there are those that might think it strips the romantic notions from the idea, I couldn't disagree more. Seeing a rainbow for what it really is makes it all the more incredible to me and understanding what love is for me makes sharing it all the more amazing.

I believe that love is a response to our own values. It is with another person’s sense of life that I fall in love — with that essential sum, that fundamental stand or way of facing existence, which is the essence of another’s personality. I fall in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person’s character, which are reflected in his or her widest goals or smallest gestures, which create the style of a person — the individual style of a unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable consciousness. It is my own sense of life that acts as the selector, and I respond to what I recognize as my own basic values in the person of another. People say opposites attract and that may be true when it comes to some superficial details that can, in fact, add an element of spice to a relationship. However, when I fall in love, it’s the similarities that bond me to another. And ultimately, I think it's those similarities that help me weather the tough times that inevitably challenge any relationship. Common ground seems so much more likely to be found among people with a common sense of life.

This is also why I do not believe in love at first sight. It takes time and attention to delve into the thoughts and values of another. Now, you might be incredibly lucky and find yourself drawn to someone that, upon further enlightenment, you find is very much sharing a similar sense of life. But here's one place where there really is no substitute for taking the time and effort to share and learn. Then again, isn't that one of the fantastic things about falling in love? That process of peeling back the layers and discovering all the wonderful ways in which you and your love share common goals, values and ideas is nothing less than exhilarating.

This certainly doesn't encompass all of my thoughts on love, but I was feeling a bit philosophical this morning and wanted to explore that a bit and share. I encourage you all to spend a bit of time (or a lot of time) giving some thought to love and what it actually means to you. No matter who you share it with, it can give you insight into yourself and give your love(s) extra insight into you. And that, my friends, is a win-win situation! Happy Friday :)

Am I the only one that thinks there are a few summer foods that should just be enjoyed naked or at least in a bathing suit followed by a good swim or run through the sprinkler? The two that spring to mind are watermelon and fresh from the vine tomatoes. Back me up here!

Fun with density! Shake 1 part midori, 2 parts coconut rum and 3 parts pineapple juice with ice and pour into a martini glass. Add a splash of chambord and allow to sink to the bottom and enjoy!  

Galen and I often talk about what polyamory means to each of us. Sometimes this comes in the context of a question that boils down to: Are we looking for other partners?

For me, the answer is pretty fundamentally linked to my own thoughts about polyamory. I don't view it as a way to fill gaps in my marriage or somehow fulfill me in ways that Galen doesn't or can't. While I am bisexual, I find that's more the case because of the way I fall in love and less because of the "bits" involved. I tell people that I fall for beautiful minds. Love is very deeply an emotional and intellectual connection for me ... the physical bond really grows out of that and plumbing isn't a big factor for me. So for me, polyamory isn't about relationship gap sealer. If Galen were the only person I ever fell in love with, I could and would be happy.

But that hasn't been the case and isn't likely to be the case. I've been lucky enough to have other chances at love. In addition to Galen, I have had others touch my mind and heart in ways that bring me great joy and deeply touch me. When that happens, should I say no? Would saying yes somehow dishonor the loves I have? I don't think so. So while there are certainly questions of whether or not I have the time to devote to nurturing that love, I don't question my ability to love others, the spirit in which that love is given, or the place that other loved ones hold in my life.

So, no, I'm not looking for other partners. What I am looking for are people to include in my social circle that are honest, intelligent, thoughtful, creative and fun to be around. And if love develops along the way, I am confident that embracing that love will not diminish the love I have for others in my life.

Let Me Not Say "I Love You" (20 July 1999)

Let me not say I love you,
Although you know that it is true.
That phrase has been so much abused,
Misunderstood and over-used.

Let me say rather "I think you,
Breathe you, taste you, feel you, dream you,"
That you help make each day complete,
And life has never been so sweet.

Taken in WI Dells on Saturday, June 7. Hope the storms are over.  

I know it's been forever since I've posted anything here, so I thought it well past time to just toss some words out so that people know I'm doing well, happy and busy as hell! With a major deadline behind me, I have just enough time to catch my breath and say hi to the world of people on the Internet that may or may not give a damn about me.

Firstly, our happy little odd quad is just that ... happy. Sure, we have our share of growing pains and being part of a quad doesn't mean each set of couples can somehow set aside life's curveballs, but it really never ceases to amaze me how well we all get along and how we reach out to one another to make sure everyone's supported and loved. For instance, recently, a lot of time was made for galenaskton and clthulusmommie because they needed a good chunk of time to just talk and connect. When I voiced concern about time and space for girl time, everyone came together to find ways to be generous. It's a beautiful thing and helps make those inevitable moments when there's just no way to get enough time with everyone an opportunity to enjoy memories and anticipate another time. I keep saying over and over again ... I'm blessed. And that's coming from the world's laziest agnostic!

beren_80 has reminded me how fun it is to be held, enveloped and protected. I'm very much used to being an incredibly independent woman and he helps remind me that sometimes strength is about being able to reach out to others and accept help. He's seen me cry without offering pity ... just the warm embrace he knows I need. And there's little that can make me smile as often has his quick wit and beautiful smile.

clthulusmommie has a connection with me that seems almost scary at times. I've never connected with someone so quickly. We even finish one another's sentences or, unbeknownst to either of us, order the same meal or wear matching outfits! We both have our moments of weakness and maybe that's why she does so very much to make me feel strong. Whether I'm in her arms or holding her close to my heart, I feel like there's nothing I can't overcome when she's with me. She inspires me.

galenaskton is my husband and my soulmate. No one on this planet knows me as well as he does. I trust him with my life and I am nothing less than honored to share my life with him. When life hands me a curveball, he's always there to help me catch it or at least help me dodge it.  We are coming up on our 11th wedding anniversary and marking 15 years together and I can only say that things keep getting better and better. I'm so very grateful that so many years ago, I fell in love with his beautiful mind.

Love is beautiful.

A funny thought/slogan that came to me after a shower this morning:

"Polyamory: Because face it, you can never have too many hands!"

Enjoy the gorgeous weather today, people!

Butterflies (4 April 2008)

A swirling dance of excitement, joy, even trepidation
Twists in tantalizing ribbons along my skin,
In its tendrils hang a heady and welcomed anticipation
For more butterflies as I explore your spirits.